![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Luck on wheels
Sep. 7th, 2008 09:09 pmToday, The Ruling Reddcub and I had the great pleasure of having lunch with two amazing women, each a PhD involved in Disabilities Studies. It was my first experience having a conversation about these issues, in live time, in person, with other Disabled people.
I feel liberated. I can't find another way of putting it. I am excited. I am validated. I feel as if I have had this voice, this need to say things eloquently; to paint a clear picture of the anecdotes of an experience, and until now, have had no experiences worthy of the use of this voice. It's like I have the ability to play an amazing and captivating instrument, and now somebody just handed me sheet music.
It is a question of identity, yes, but it is also a question of passion.
The Ruling Reddcub asked me today, after this lunch, to explain in more detail why I tell the following story:
I had an experience recently with a person who was convinced that if I ate right, exercised, visualized, whatever, that I could, one day, miraculously walk again!. I could not make him understand that I was not focused on the idea of walking again. He was stunned and asked me "Don't you want to get better?"
"Of course I do," I replied, "I want to be a better interpreter. I want to be nicer. I want to have more patience. I want to be a better boy friend, a better writer, a better human being. But to me, better does not have to mean walking."
This person is a wonderful man; caring, compassionate, open to new ideas. Really a top notch person. I don't want to paint a picture of an oppressive bastard, or a clueless do-gooder who oppresses with a smile. This is a good person. I want you, dear reader, to understand that before I tell you that this person was "Concerned about my apathy."
I had the great privilege to point out that it is not apathy; being happy with who I am is the most active thing I know how to do.
The boy wanted to know if, given the choice, I would opt to actually not be Disabled. His perspective as the partner of a person in a chair, a witness to my daily struggles with barriers of both the physical variety as well as the more insidious social varieties lead him to be puzzled by my insistence that given the choice, I might just opt to stay Disabled.
The difference between him and those that don't "Get it" was that all I had to do was point out the fact of this passion I have found. He sees that it is a product of the changed perspective and there is not much more need to qualify the value of it. He is also willing to not only hear me when I challenge him on the reasoning behind the question, he also gets it when I say that I think there should be room in this society for it to be ok for people to say "No, I would not choose to walk again."
I am a lucky man.
I feel liberated. I can't find another way of putting it. I am excited. I am validated. I feel as if I have had this voice, this need to say things eloquently; to paint a clear picture of the anecdotes of an experience, and until now, have had no experiences worthy of the use of this voice. It's like I have the ability to play an amazing and captivating instrument, and now somebody just handed me sheet music.
It is a question of identity, yes, but it is also a question of passion.
The Ruling Reddcub asked me today, after this lunch, to explain in more detail why I tell the following story:
I had an experience recently with a person who was convinced that if I ate right, exercised, visualized, whatever, that I could, one day, miraculously walk again!. I could not make him understand that I was not focused on the idea of walking again. He was stunned and asked me "Don't you want to get better?"
"Of course I do," I replied, "I want to be a better interpreter. I want to be nicer. I want to have more patience. I want to be a better boy friend, a better writer, a better human being. But to me, better does not have to mean walking."
This person is a wonderful man; caring, compassionate, open to new ideas. Really a top notch person. I don't want to paint a picture of an oppressive bastard, or a clueless do-gooder who oppresses with a smile. This is a good person. I want you, dear reader, to understand that before I tell you that this person was "Concerned about my apathy."
I had the great privilege to point out that it is not apathy; being happy with who I am is the most active thing I know how to do.
The boy wanted to know if, given the choice, I would opt to actually not be Disabled. His perspective as the partner of a person in a chair, a witness to my daily struggles with barriers of both the physical variety as well as the more insidious social varieties lead him to be puzzled by my insistence that given the choice, I might just opt to stay Disabled.
The difference between him and those that don't "Get it" was that all I had to do was point out the fact of this passion I have found. He sees that it is a product of the changed perspective and there is not much more need to qualify the value of it. He is also willing to not only hear me when I challenge him on the reasoning behind the question, he also gets it when I say that I think there should be room in this society for it to be ok for people to say "No, I would not choose to walk again."
I am a lucky man.